


Blackberry Schnapps

by thelastaerie



Category: Sense8 (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2020-06-26 03:33:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19759741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelastaerie/pseuds/thelastaerie
Summary: Brian is in love with Max and it’s far from unrequited. Problem is, Max is showing his feelings in a different way...I’ve decided to add more chapters to this story.  They will be in form of stand-alone episodes, so they can be read individually - though there is an overall arc to the relationship development.I don’t know how many chapters I will write - but like I said, each chapter is a little story on its own 😅





	1. Budapest

**Author's Note:**

> This has nothing to do with reality. I have nothing but respect and love for both Max and Brian. 
> 
> I do find great chemistry between them, so here goes... Everything written here is pure fiction for my own enjoyment.
> 
> Unbeta’d and unedited.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian misses Max, decides to send him a hint via Instagram...

It was the blackberry schnapps’ fault, Brian decided.He made that Instagram post after two or three glasses of the blackberry schnapps cocktail he made, and he may have been a bit heavy handed with the vodka portion. 

So he has chosen that damn photo of them kissing in São Paulo, so what? _It wasn’t so obvious, was it?_ Brian made sure he buried it in a series of photos, not even made it the first one.

He was hoping Max would notice it.He was afraid Max would notice it.Max was bound to think he’s too clingy if he saw it.

Brian shuddered at the thought.Though what did it matter?He didn’t know why he even tried to send hint through that channel.He knew Max didn’t do social media himself.Period.

That guy who managed his Fanclub and his social media accounts, maybe he would notice it and report it back to Max.In one of those weekly or maybe monthly reports he sent to Max. _Is that how it works between them?_ Brian tipsily pondered. 

_Ugh. What was I hoping?That man is so hopeless with social media._ Brian laughed to himself.It was one of the things he found extremely cute with Max.His aversion to twitter, Instagram, Snapchat etc. 

“Think my daughter is on one of those, they are not healthy for kids.” Max had told him.Sometimes Brian forgot Max was a father of a preteen girl.

“Don’t you want to monitor her account then?” Brian had asked

Max had visibly recoiled at the idea.“What?But that’s private.” 

_For a 11-year-old?_ Brian had thought. _Europeans._ It was endearing though, especially when he said it in that accent of his.Every difference Brian found between Max and himself seemed endearing to him.

“That’s because you are addicted to him.” He gently reminded himself.

But it’s been a month.A month since he last heard his voice.Two months since he last saw his face.Two months since... they slept together.If this was an addiction, he’s been sustaining it on ultra low dosage.

Brian watched the Budapest city at night through the rain spattered window panels of his hotel room.He didn’t expect Budapest to be so rainy in June.The weather was not helping their filming schedule, he wouldn’t be surprised it they had to extend their stay.

Resting his head on the faux Eames lounge chair, he thought, maybe Max still had time to visit.

“Maybe I can come to Budapest when this TV movie wrapped up.” Max had said in the last phone call. 

Max never made promises he wouldn’t keep.He’s almost brutally honest like that.So it wasn’t wrong for Brian to hope.

_Right?_ He asked himself. 

_It’s just that it’s been too damn long._ Sliding further down on the lounge chair, he put his feet up on the faux Eames ottoman.He closed his eyes and his mind drifted to the memory of the last time they were together.Max’s talented tongue licking and trailing his body; Max hovered above him, his eyes twinkling, his lips quirked in that half arrogant, half boyish smile way that sent shivers down Brian’s spine every goddamn time.

And Brian was addicted to it.To that out of control feeling.That I-don’t-care-if-you-only-see-me-once-every-two-month desperation.As long as he got to see him.

This was not what Brian signed up for when they first started.

The fact was, it was never meant to be an on-going thing. 

At the beginning, Brian had just wanted to sleep with Max once.Just once.That would be enough. Or so he had thought.

After all, they both knew better; knew how impossible a relationship would be between them once the series finished.They lived in different countries, different continent! Their had their own career in different corners of the world; they speak different languages.Although at the beginning, it was exactly Max’s accented English that did funny things to Brian’s stomach...

So yeah, looking for a relationship with Max was just... asking for heartbreak.After all, Max was not... _what did he call it?_ “I don’t normally sleep with guys.But it doesn’t bother me when I’m attracted to one.” Max said. 

_Well, thank you for choosing me then, Herr Riemelt.And what the hell does that even mean?_

“Why do we have to label it? I like you.A lot. Is that ok?” He had asked Brian in that infuriatingly gentle but offhand way.Brian had a hard time gauging the seriousness of it. 

**If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me** \- Brian has once read this W. H. Auden quote in a novel by a gay writer he was reading.At that time his past relationships had made him believed that he was quite unlikely to be the more loving one in an “unequal affection” relationship.He had considered himself to be pathologically rational when it came to relationships. 

That was until Max had kissed him at the spur of the moment.“It just happened” Max had said.

Except that spur of the moment had carried on for a few more nights afterwards.When late night partying had led to sleepover at each other’s room, then led to climbing into the same bed together, laughing and kissing; and waking up naked and tangled up in bed together.

After that, they didn’t even need alcohol.If they were having dinner together in the evening, even when they had other companies, Brian just needed a signal from Max.Sometimes it was a smirk, sometimes it was a lingering squeeze of his shoulder; and Brian would know they would sleep together that night.

It was just an on set hookup.It’s not a big deal.They would go their separate ways, back to their own world once the filming was over.Brian had tried to convince himself, to take a heartbreak proof approach. 

Except after their TV series has wrapped, after they went their separate ways, all it took was one innocuous text from Max - _> >hey, when are you coming to Europe? We should hang out<<_ \- to make Brian begin to hope again.His rational approach forgotten.

Max was never cruel, but he wasn’t giving Brian much to go on either.The waiting and longing, they were not fun stuff.And the grim realisation that this meant more to Brian than to Max - that hurt.So many times, Brian wanted to get a definite answer - one way or the other - even if it meant the end. 

“You know if it’s just sex to you, you don’t need to get on an airplane to get it.” Brian said to Max one time, masking it as a joke, when it was his bruised ego talking.

But Max laced their fingers together, looked at Brian with those clear blue eyes of his and said,“You know it was never just about sex.”

It was moments like these that have kept Brian in this state.This limbo.

His mobile beeped.

Brian jumped and nearly fell off the chair.He agilely avoided hitting the floor and grabbed his mobile from the side table. 

_> >are you in your room now?<<_

Max texted him.He’s the only under-50 person that Brian knew who would type full words in their text messages.

Brian couldn’t help smiling.He replied _> >Ja<<_

_> >wanna hang out?<<_

_> >want me to call u?<<_ Brian was up for some phone sex, if Max was willing.

_> >how about you open the door?<<_

Brian almost dropped his phone.

Bare-footed, he slowly walked to the door.After unlocking, he debated if he should check the peephole first.If Max thought this was funny, he was going to kill him. 

He opened the door wide in one smooth pull.

Max looked up from his phone, like he was the one getting the surprise.Then he quirked his mouth in that mischievous way.“Well, I was just in the neighborhood,” he said in a fake Texan drawl.

Brian shook his head.“What are you doing here?” He said, but he couldn’t stop the smile reaching his eyes, something sickly sweet was blooming inside. 

He stepped aside to let Max into the room.

As soon as the door was closed and locked again, Max pulled Brian close to him, his face inches away.

“Why? I thought you told me to come over on Instagram the other day?” He whispered in Brian’s ear.


	2. By the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Max go on a beach holiday
> 
> *explicit content alert*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing to do with reality. I have nothing but love and respect for both Max and Brian. 
> 
> This is entirely my own imagination and for my own enjoyment.

“I am going to look like a LED tube light out there.” Max frowned, looking down at his own perfectly toned but very white body self-consciously.

Brian nearly spewed the orange juice he’s drinking.He spluttered and coughed.Wiping the corner of his mouth, he walked up to Max and kissed him on the lips.But Max had other ideas, he slipped his tongue in and deepened the kiss, nibbling Brian’s lower lip for a few seconds before he pulled away.Max looked at Brian up and down.“Well, at least you are even paler than me.” He chuckled.

Personally, Brian thought Max looked like a blond Adonis sculpture in a pair of sky blue swimming trunks, but then, he’s biased.So he just said, “we are two gringos to them anyway, nothing they haven’t seen before.” He grabbed the towels and gestured with a tilt of his head.“Come on, I really need some sun after all the snowy and wet weather in Europe.”

Now that he finally got Max to join him on this beach holiday, he couldn’t care less if he looked like a blinding light bulb out there.One week.One whole week of being together.No work, no media, spotty internet connection, just sandy beaches and a seaside holiday rental. 

Brian looked at the two deep little lines between Max’s eyebrows that always popped up whenever he’s thinking hard, the ones that Brian wanted to smooth them flat with his kisses every time he saw them; and his heart sank.He dropped the towels on the sofa and took Max’s wrist. “If you are feeling self-conscious, we can just stay inside.The balcony is pretty private...”

Upon hearing that, Max’s frown deepened.“Scheiße... that’s not what I meant at all, you sensitive idiot.” Max cursed softly and threw a mock punch on Brian’s face.“How can you think that I’d mind that? I am truly embarrassed by how not-tanned-at-all we both are.”

Brian beamed and relaxed a fraction.He knew he needed to stop tip-toeing around Max - it’s just that he still hasn’t got over the shock that Max was here.With him.That Max had agreed to join him on this holiday. 

That phone call still sounded unreal to him - “Sure. That sounds fun.I have a two-week break before the preproduction for the next film starts.” Max had told him when Brian had been preparing himself to hear the words “sorry I can’t.”

“Huh... what?” Brian had responded belatedly.So surprised he was dumbfounded .

“I said sure I can come. Where is it in the Caribbean again?” Max had patiently answered over the phone. Completely oblivious to the powerful jolt he had just unleashed on Brian.

So... yeah, Brian was still getting over the shock. He wanted Max to enjoy this week.In fact, he swore he would make sure Max wouldn’t regret joining him here. 

“Well... Should we run over to the drug store and get a bottle of spray tan then?” Brian suggested jokingly.

Max played along and pretended to consider it.“Nee... they can wear shades when we walk pass them.Let’s go.” 

They almost had the beach all by themselves.There were only a couple of workers cleaning up seaweed and fallen leaves at the other end of the beach.

“Is this a private beach?” Max asked behind his sunglasses.He’s lying down with his hands behind his head on the towel. 

“Sort of.It’s only accessible by the row of beach houses here. And it’s not a well known resort, so no paps bother to come here.A tech guy who worked on Treadstone recommended it to me.”

“Ahhh.The perks of working for big networks.” Max grinned.“You ask and they deliver.” He said wishfully. 

Brian had secretly hoped that Max would sign on to an American agent, he had no doubt Max would get roles if he moved to US, like many German actors before him.But... Max loved Berlin.More than once he has mentioned how the city, his family, his friends there were very important to him.Even his gym in Berlin seemed to mean a lot to him. So... Brian had let that wish go long time ago, had never even mentioned it.

_This is good enough._ Brian tried to tell himself. _For now..._

Feeling secured by his sunglasses, Brian watched Max’s profile openly, allowing himself to study the details, to commit them to his memory.He would need it when they returned to their own corner of the world after this holiday. 

Max never asked if Brian was seeing anyone else; and Brian knew better to ask Max that question.We hook up sometimes, nothing wrong with that. Brian told himself. _I won’t stop looking... I will allow myself to consider... fuck! Who am I trying to kid?_

Brian had all these ideas about keeping his eyes open and meeting other people, but the truth was he had zero interest in other men, his mind had no space left for anyone else.Not since he started this little undefined affair with Max...

“Why are you frowning?” Max pushed his sunglasses up, squinting at Brian.

Brian shook his head. “Nothing...” he began to say, then he blurted out, “just can’t believe you agreed to come.” He could feel the tip of his ears burning. 

Max stared at him for a moment, then veered away.When his gaze returned, there was a faint smile on his face. He leaned closer to Brian, his mouth millimetres close to Brian’s; the tip of his lashes fluttering against Brian’s.Brian’s heart sped up, he opened his mouth to say something, but Max pressed his mouth onto his.Warm and firm.Before he pulled away again.

“This is going to come as a shock to you, Brian, but sometimes you can be so blind.” Max said, watching Brian closely.His German accent was less prominent already.Brian noticed Max would lose most of his accent after they spent a couple of days together.It comes naturally for actors, the ability to imitate.

Now he’s smiling at Brian indulgently.

“What...?” Brian determined to keep his voice steady, when his heart was about to trip out of sync.

“Of course I want to join you.You have no idea how much.” Max shrugged in his not-a-big-deal-just-telling-you-the-truth way.

And Brian’s mouth suddenly became dry. _How does he do that?_ Brian wondered.Throwing out sweet confession in such offhand manner, like he had no idea of its effect on Brian.

Max’s smile transformed into a familiar smirk.He got up, brushed off the sand on his body and reached out his hand to Brian. “Come on, let’s go cool down in the deluxe rental.”

******

Max’s idea of cooling down was to take a shower together in the large marble tiled bathroom.He took off his swimming trunks as soon as the main door was closed and walked naked into the bathroom. 

Shaking his head, Brian followed behind him, his first day of shooting with Max popped into his mind - that scene in the German bathhouse.Max liked to claim he shared little in common with his character, but Brian could name a few...

“You are overdressed for the shower.” Max turned to Brian and said, eyes challenging.He manhandled Brian into the bathroom and turned on all the switches he could see to the maximum.Suddenly they had spray of water hitting them from all sides. 

Brian jumped and laughed, they were both completely soaked in seconds.He reached out to turn the knobs down to more a reasonable setting, but Max kept pulling his trunks down. 

“Hey, we are drowning, you maniac.” Brian howled with laughter, pushing his hair back so he could see under the water from the multiple shower heads. 

“Max, where?... oh...” Brian’s question was cut short by the sensation between his legs. 

Max was kneeling down in front of him.The velvet roughness of his tongue, accompanied by the grit of his stubble, scraped across the soft skin high on the inside of Brian’s thighs.

“Arghhh.....” Brian’s legs got weak in an instant.He leaned against the tiled wall for support and stuck his fingers in Max’s hair. 

Pulling back slightly, Max’s tongue swiped and licked the head, one hand holding the base of it, he began to suck it like it’s his favourite sweet in the world. 

A cascade of warm water rained down on them, Brian looked down and was struck by the gorgeous sight in front of him - Max deep throating him, releasing and coming back again.Brian clenched his shoulders and had to stop the urge to thrust.As he closed his eyes, he felt the hot tingle in his groin first, his balls drew tight and he’s close... so close... his whole body clenched tight.His fingers digging into Max’s shoulders. 

“Max!I’m...” he gave out the warning, but Max kept on sucking. 

Brian’s knees buckled. “Oh Christ... oh god... oh god...” he shouted over the sound of water as he began to come in great straining pulses.

Max got up and pinned Brian back against the wall with his chest, his mouth covering Brian’s in a hard, hungry kiss.Brian could taste himself on Max’s tongue, he shivered a little despite the warm water, as Max moved to kiss the ticklish underside of his jaw and his throat and the curve of the side of his throat. His warm breath gusted against Brian’s neck.

“Can I have you?” Max whispered next to Brian’s mouth.

The old-fashioned request made Brian giddy and sent a shiver down his spine at the same time.He kissed Max back and answered, “yes, you may.” 

Max carefully turned him to face against the wall, his fingers ran long stroke along his back before they settled on his ass. Brian could feel Max’s arousal pressing against him, he whimpered as Max thrust a little, like he couldn’t help it.

Planting butterfly kisses on Brian’s shoulder blades, Max wrapped his arms around Brian’s chest and waist, holding him tight against his front.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Brian couldn’t help but said it, tilting his head back to give Max better access.He didn’t want to sound so emotional in front of Max, but every time when he’s face to face with the blond man, his resolve, his heartbreak-proof plan all wavered and forgotten.

“Oh yeah?” Max responded leisurely with another kiss on the back of his nape, his hand began to move down to cup Brian’s ass, his fingers seeking entrance...

The sound of the rainforest shower mingled with their soft grunts, their wet skin sliding against each other, making Brian dizzy with want. 

******

They let the sliding door to the balcony wide open, the sheer white curtains blowing in the sea breeze, carrying the scent of sand and palm trees.

Brian let out a happy sigh, as he flopped down on the large sectional sofa.He listened to Max speaking in German with his agent in Berlin.

“Das ist toll.Sag ihnen, ich werde da sein... ja, ja, genau.Tschüss.” (That is great.Tell them I’ll be there... yes, yes, exactly.Bye.)

Max ended the call and stretched himself out next to Brian on the sofa.Wrapped up in a thick and fluffy bathrobe, Max looked soft and sleepy.

“Good news?Was ist toll?” (What is great?) Brian knew just enough German to understand the first part.

Suppressing a smile, Max turned to look at him. “Du bist toll. Weißt du das?” (You are great, you know?) Then he planted a kiss on Brian’s opened mouth. 

_Ok... flattery._ Brian narrowed his eyes.

“They told me I am getting an award.” Max shrugged. He sounded almost... shy.

Brian’s eyes widened.“That’s amazing. For the new film?”

“More like for my contribution to German cinema.” Max said dryly, still trying to make light of it, but Brian could tell he was happy and that it was a big deal.

“Congratulations!That IS amazing.” Brian snuggled up closer, the thick bathrobes they were wearing fighting for sofa space

Max rolled his eyes and shrugged again, the tip of his nose and his forehead turning red... maybe they both should wear more sunscreen. 

They just lay down quietly together, to let the good news sink in. 

Brian smiled to himself. It never ceased to amaze him how humble and shy Max could be one minute, and the next he’s pulling some outlandish prank.He wanted to keep Max in this good mood, to indulge him senselessly this week.

“I have another surprise for you.But I’m too tired to get up to show you. Maybe later.”Brian said after awhile.

“What? New sexual position?” Max grinned lazily, raising his eyebrows playfully.

Brian couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.He spluttered, “you are a sex maniac with a one track mind.”

“What can I say? Sea water makes me horny.” Max had a goofy grin on his face, clearly proud of his own unfailing ability to shock and amuse Brian at the same time.

Brian was still laughing.He rolled on top of Max and muffled his laughter on Max’s chest, wiping his eyes with the thick cotton. 

When he finally calmed down, Brian cleared his throat and said, “there is a gym in the basement in this house.They were still putting it together and they asked me what gym equipment I would like to have.So I told them to get some gear for kickboxing training.We should have a look later.”

Brian felt Max’s body stilled underneath him.

“You are good at this.” Max suddenly said, touching the side of Brian’s face.His voice soft and curious, his gaze lingered on Brian’s mouth, making him tingle all over.

“Good at what?” Brian played innocent.

“Relationships?” Max’s brow arched.He sighed... it’s not a regretful sigh, but Brian knew he’s going to say something he wouldn’t like. “I’m terrible at that.I hurt people who loved me...” he stole a glance at Brian, shook his head a little.“Or people who cared about me.Even though all I wanted was to be honest with them.”

Brian was quiet.He’s dreading where Max was going with this.He could imagine the trail of broken hearts after a conversation opening like this.

Max’s fingers brushed Brian’s short curls at the back of his head. “I need you to be patient with me... you might be surprised, but this is new for me.” He sighed again, his brow furrowed, like he’s not happy with the way he’s expressing himself. “I mean this long distance relationship thing.”

Brian was holding his breath so tight, he couldn’t speak to save his life. 

“But I want to give it a shot.” Max said before he leaned forward to give Brian a kiss.


	3. Berlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian visits Max in Berlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing to do with reality. I have nothing but love and respect for both Max and Brian.  
> This is all in my head only and for my own enjoyment.

Brian jumped up and looked, but a new batch from the fog machine reduced his visibility to two feet.

_Shit. Where has he gone off to?_

Going clubbing with Max in Berlin was more than dancing to techno music, sometimes it was a hide and seek game. After an hour of dancing together in a sea of men and women in expensive clubwear; young guys with exposed toned muscles; gleaming bodies and guys in leather harnesses, Max had bumped into a few friends - they always bumped into his friends in Berlin - and after telling Brian he would be back in a second, Max had let them dragged him away to location unknown.

Brian tried to jump again but someone was tapping his shoulder.

“Schatz... kann ich dir helfen?” (Honey... can I help you?)

Brian turned around and his eyes were met with a mountain of a chest. A very big chest. Muscular and hairy. And... very big. And he was wearing nothing except a pair of leather chaps. Chaps with very long slit and a lot of cut-outs. Big chest also had full make up on and a pair of very high platform heels; looked like he or she was halfway through preparing for the audition for RuPaul’s drag race.

Brian looked up and shouted over the techno music, “I’m sorry?”, then added cautiously, “Wie bitte?”

Big chest laughed so loud like Brian just said the funniest thing, his big hand ruffled Brian’s hair like he’s a kindergartener. “Aren’t you the cutest? Did a German boyfriend teach you that?”

Even now, in a foreign country, in a dark nightclub, Brian still felt a dip in his chest when a stranger openly acknowledged his sexuality. This was not a gay club, in fact, it’s a relatively tame one, comparing to the ones Max had taken him and the cast to before. But for so long, Brian had to be careful who he told, the liberation actually took some getting used to. Brian simply nodded and smiled - really felt like a kindergartener now. _And I’m going to kick my German boyfriend’s ass if he doesn’t come back in the next minute._

Big chest solved the problem for Brian. He suddenly gave a high-pitched shriek and exclaimed, “here’s my little Maus.” and started waving his arms and walked toward his Maus.

Brian looked over and saw Big Chest’s “Maus”, who dressed in a green sequin party dress, waving back both of his muscular arms, but it was not Maus that caught Brian’s attention, it was who were standing next to Maus. It was a gorgeous brunette in a tight black sling dress and she’s hugging Max like he’s just returned home from a long war. Max was not just letting it happen, he was returning an equally tight embrace.

_Did she just touch Max’s ass?_

Max didn’t seem to be aware of Brian at all, he pulled back from the brunette, they stood closely together for a minute or two, talking, then the brunette leaned up to kiss Max on the mouth. Ok, it was a dry peck on the lips, but even from that distance, Brian could see she was trying to deepen the kiss.

Brian slowly exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding when Max playfully pulled back, grinning. He gave an affectionate pat on the woman’s face and walked off. Brian turned sharply away. He found he had to force himself to stay still. He looked down, suddenly finding his own boot fascinating.

_What do you expect? It’s a club. He’s going to bump into his friends here, he probably forgot that he came here with me; and he’s probably going to meet even more friends of his..._ Brian began his own inner monologue.

“Are you ok, Schatz?” He forgot Big Chest was still standing next to him, now joined by his pretty Maus.

Suddenly the music seemed extra loud to Brian, and the thumping bass line shook his entirely body. He made a non-committal grunt and then excused himself. He walked quickly toward the direction of an exit sign.

“Hey! There you are.” Max grabbed Brian’s arm when he’s halfway to the door.

Brian carefully schooled his face into a neutral expression before he turned to face Max. “Looking for me?”

Max must have detected something in Brian’s voice. “What’s wrong? Why are you walking toward the exit?”

Brian opened his mouth, then closed it. He couldn’t come up with an excuse that was not cringeworthy. He also didn’t want to sound jealous. Nope.

“I saw you were busy with your friends. And I had my techno music quota full for the next month.” So much for trying, he failed on both fronts.

Max raised an eyebrow, and Brian flushed. They were both well aware it was Brian’s idea to come to a club tonight. Brian knew he was being petulant. Unreasonable. And it had to stop.

Without Brian having to say anything, Max sighed and said, “She’s just a friend.”

"Uh-huh.” Brian gave a non-committal shrug. “The lip-locking kind of friend?”

“I kiss all my friends.” Max deadpanned. Brian looked back at him and raised his eyebrows too. “Oh...do you now?”

“You’re silly.” Max grabbed the back of Brian’s neck and hauled him in for a quick but sweet kiss. “But I like kissing this friend the most.”

***

“I didn’t plan this. It just came up, their first-choice cinematographer is available again, so they want to film it this week.” Max protested. Then he scowled.

Brian woke up in the morning, determined to forget about last night. He was mentally making plan for their day in the shower, only to find Max on the phone speaking in German when he stepped out of the bathroom. The filming schedule for his next project has just been pushed up.

“So... what? You are going to disappear for the next three days?” Brian asked, incredulously.

“Brian...”

Brian got little satisfaction that Max didn’t seem thrilled about the news either, but still, it hurt. This felt like he’s being last on Max’s list again.

“I don’t know why you asked me to come here, if you’re only going to spend two hours with me every day.” Brian blurted out, secretly hating the whiny tone, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Especially after last night at the club… and now.

“What is the point? At this rate, I will see the barista in next door’s cafe more than you this week.” Horrifyingly, he felt his voice cracked.

Max doesn’t hold grudges, but he also has a short-fuse, Brian learned that from when they were filming together. He saw Max squared his shoulders. “I told you I’m not good at this!” Max said irritably, drawing air circles with one hand. Brian reckoned the circles meant relationships - which Max kept saying he’s not good at.

Brian bit his lips. He turned sharply and walked out to the balcony. Clear sky for the first time since he arrived 3 days ago, and they only had another week before he had to fly back to US. He has a job with a demanding schedule too, he wanted to tell Max.

Max lived on the top floor of a nondescript residential building in the east side of Berlin, not far from the area where he grew up. Brian could see the TV tower in Alexanderplatz and beyond. The grey, the graffiti, the bauhaus and the relic from the communist past; everyone is so laid back here. It’s so different from New York. But Brian has come to love Berlin, it’s another city where he can just be himself. And it has one obvious advantage over New York...

He could hear Max’s footsteps behind him. Brian took a deep breath. He turned and said quietly, “can we leave this for now? I didn’t fly across the Atlantic Ocean to argue with you.”

Max didn’t reply at first, he looked down, then away. “You deserve to be with someone who treats you better...” He said, those two deep lines between his eyebrows appeared again.

“If you are trying to comfort me, you’re making it worse. You sound like you are about to break up with me.” Brian snuck a glance at Max, he tried to sound sarcastic, but his heart was hammering. He’s giving Max an out. Brian’s abdomen felt rigid, braced, waiting for something. If Max took this out...

For a few fraught seconds, neither spoke. Then Max put his hands on both of Brian’s shoulders, trying to get Brian to look at him. “That’s why I can never be a screenwriter. They’ve asked a few times, but I kept telling them no.” He grinned, gently shaking Brian’s shoulders. And just like that, he defused the tension between them.

Brian barked out a laugh over that giant lump in his throat. He was secretly relieved, even when his heart still ached from Max’s earlier outburst.

Then Max added softly, “and I didn’t ask you to fly four thousand miles to stay in my house by yourself. I’ll tell them I can’t do it this week. It’s just a guest appearance for a friend’s short film.” He shrugged. “She can wait, or she can do it without me.”

_It’s ok. It’s work_ was on the tip of Brian’s tongue, so used to being accommodating, putting others first. But he stopped himself just in time to remember it was Max. If Max really wants to do something, he’d simply do it.

So Brian just looped his arms around the blond man’s neck and said, “thank you.”

Max seemed grateful for the reprieve, he pulled Brian into his arms, and Brian hugged him right back in a fierce embrace. Max’s mouth finding Brian’s in a soft, apologetic kiss. His mouth was warm, his taste familiar to Brian despite spending most of their time apart.

After a minute, Max suddenly pulled away. “Scheiße... I almost forgot.” Then he just ran back inside.

“Huh...?” Brian chuckled. He followed him into the living room, puzzled. So like Max to just jump from one thing to another without warning.

Max came out from the bedroom with one hand behind his back. He had that mischevious smirk on his face again.

Brian narrowed his eyes.

Then Max handed it to Brian. It was a present, wrapped in plain brown paper and tied with a simple string.

“What’s this?” Brian peeled back the paper.

It was a book. It wasn’t just any book - it was a signed copy of the first edition of Edmund White’s “A Boy’s Own Story”.

Brian stared at Max.

“Max...”

“I found it online. It’s not personalised, obviously. But...”

Brian stopped his sentence with a kiss. He knew his cheeks were hot; he blinked a few times, tried to contain the sudden tears threatening behind his eyelids.

“Shit... I can’t believe you remember” Brian wrapped his arms around Max’s neck for a tight hug. Then he backed up, giving him space. “I love it.” Brian whispered.

Brian had mentioned it’s one of his all-time favourite books to Max exactly one-time years ago, when they were still filming the tv series together.

Max pointed a finger to the side of his own head, “I have actors’ memory.” Looking pleased with himself.

“Thank you... this is...” Brian said softly. His second thank you of the day.

Max tilted his face up, as though listening for what Brian wasn’t putting into words. “What?”

“Nothing.” Brian answered. His eyes lingered on Max’s face for a few more seconds, before he pulled Max in again.

It’s scary how much one’s happiness depends on one person, Brian thought. It’s not safe. It’s dangerous.

***

Max slumped on Brian’s chest, his back rose and fell slowly. He expelled a long, contented sigh. Brian wrapped an arm around him and kissed his damp face.

“This is better than anything.” Max murmured. He rubbed his face against Brian’s neck lazily, like a cat. A wild leopard tamed temporarily.

_It is._ Brian showed his agreement with another kiss on top of Max’s head. His cock spent and softened, he slowly withdrew from Max, gathering him closer against his own chest.

Brian could feel both of their heartbeats, steadily returning to a normal pace. A sense of peace and happiness washed over him. He wished they could just stay like this...

“Are you still thinking about talking to that magazine?” Max asked, suppressing a yawn. It’s late and they have been going around Berlin all day on their bikes, visiting friends, biking in the woods, even watched a play together in one of the English theatres in Berlin.

Brian thought for a moment before answered, “I’m still considering it.” He asked cautiously, “would it be a problem?”

Max didn’t even flinch, “you should do this entirely for yourself.” He turned to glance at Brian, a faint smile on his face, “I think it’s cool.”

“Cool? I’m not 12.” Brian chuckled.

“Then do it for all the gay 12-year-olds.”

Max had a point, of course. “I wish I knew you when I was 12.” Brian said quietly.

“I was an obnoxious kid when I was 12. Good that they sent me to a therapist.” Max laughed a little, remembering.

“Really? For what?” Brian didn’t know.

Max simply shrugged. “Nee… It’s just a requirement for all child actors in Germany.”

Of course, sometimes Brian forgot Max has been acting since he was 12. “Drama class was my refuge when I was young.” Brian confessed. Acting saved him. Brian wished he had discovered it even earlier.

“Growing up in a small town in Texas can’t be fun for you.” Max commented without inflection.

“I did okay, considering…” Brian trailed off, it’s not an easy subject for him to talk about. “My parents were really supportive when I finally told them.” Brian admitted. He regretted that he didn’t tell them earlier.

Max held Brian’s forearm on his chest. “I can’t imagine my parents would have a problem with who I sleep with, to be honest.” He stated, matter-of-factly.

“You’re very lucky. You should cherish that.” Brian said softly, frowning into the darkness.

Max assented, muttering a soft “Ja.” After a time, he turned his face into Brian’s shoulder and began to snore softly.


	4. New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max visits Brian in New York... Toby also makes an appearance.
> 
> *contains explicit content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing to do with reality. I have nothing but love and respect for both Max and Brian. This is purely in my imagination and for my own enjoyment.  
> Unedited and unbeta’d. All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

“Mmmmm...” Max wiped the corner of his mouth after another big bite.

“This is what? Your 3rd of the day?” Brian noted incredulously. 

“What? Only my second.” Max said indignantly after he swallowed. The big smile on his face reaching his sparkling pale blue eyes. He looked about 15 when he’s around pastrami sandwiches.

Something dangerously close to happiness spread through Brian. He’s so pleased that he found this unassuming little sandwich shop on Columbia Street with the best pastrami in Brooklyn; he loved to indulge Max with unhealthy food - from time to time - both of them are health conscious and gym obsessed. Sampling the best pastrami sandwiches in New York City has become one of their favourite pastimes. The sunlit unguarded smile on Max’s face was worth extra hours at the gym later.

Brian looked around before he carefully wiped the little mustard off the corner of Max’s mouth with his finger. Max took another bite and hid his smile behind the mountain of pastrami and cheese.

“So what’s your verdict?” Brian asked.

Max tilted his head, thought for a moment. “The Brot... I mean, the bread could be better, but the pastrami is... _out of this world_.” He answered, emphasising the last phrase. Something Max likes to make fun of Americans - the tendency to use superlatives, to exaggerate.

“I’m glad you approve.” Brian chuckled.

“Want a bite?” Max pushed the sandwich close to Brian’s lips. 

Brian eyed the staff at the counter for a moment. Nobody was paying any attention to them. Then he leaned closer and took a bite from Max’s hand, but before he pulled away, Max stuck his tongue out and quickly licked Brian’s upper lip.

“You got some sauce there.” He explained. That damn smile was still playing at the corner of his mouth.

Brian felt the colour in his cheeks rising. Even though he has officially come out, PDA was still a rarity for him. And Max... Brian didn’t know how Max could be so relaxed about it. 

“Nobody recognises me here, just don’t put me on your instagram.” Max had once told Brian. Apparently, still allergic to social media; but licking sauce off his boyfriend’s lip in a deli was ok in his book.

Decided he should just relax and enjoy the anonymity. “Let me have another bite?” Brian asked, reaching for Max’s hand.

Max took the sandwich out of Brian’s reach. “Hey, get your own!” 

******

“Where is Toby? Thought he’s coming over for the PSG v Real Madrid game?” Max walked in, with a towel around his neck, tilting his head to one side to get water out of his ear. He liked to use the in-house pool in Brian’s apartment building.

“He has a lunch meeting with some... event organizer? I have no idea. But he said he will come for the game.” Brian answered, but his eyes were tracking the wet prints on the floor that Max drudged in with his flip-flops. 

Toby usually stayed in Brian’s apartment when he’s in town, but he flew in with Max from LA this time and conveniently claimed he’s staying with a friend in TriBeCa, so Max could stay with Brian. 

Toby knew that he and Max were still seeing each other. Brian was sure of that. Maybe Toby thought it’s an on and off thing; which wasn’t too far from the truth. Even though... Max and he have been meeting up a lot more frequently... since Budapest. 

Brian would never let on how much that sudden visit from a Max has affected him. He had been on the verge of giving up, to allow it to become a good memory, something to look back on with fondness; but not to pin his hopes on. Then with no warning, Max just showed up, with just a smile, just a kiss, like oxygen to a spark, he blazed their affair back to life.

In any case, Toby would never ask him or Max about it, but they had an understanding. That’s another part of Brian’s life that he would like to be open about, at least to their friends and families. And Brian considered Toby as family, the whole cast from their tv series is family to him. If it was only up to Brian, he would have told them, but...

Brian shook his head at the wet prints on the wood floor. “Why don’t you take a shower at the gym?” He asked.

Max frowned like it has never crossed his mind. “No, I much prefer yours.” Then his hand moved to his waist band. “Plus I can do this here.” He started taking off his gym shorts.

“The curtains are wide open, you flasher.”

Max laughed and walked naked into the bathroom.

Brian took the time to prepare some snacks for the game, he knew Max ate like a horse after exercise and he liked to eat every hour. Nothing too fancy, just some hot wings, coleslaw and biscuits with gravy, a little southern comfort food from home.

Max came out from their bedroom in a pair of soft grey jeans and a plain blue t-shirt, his buzzcut hair still wet, he looked as beautiful as always. He grinned at Brian, it’s like a switch has been flipped and the light came on in the room. 

Max walked up to the kitchen counter and dipped his finger into the dipping bowl with hot sauce in it. “Scheiße... it burns my tongue.” He stuck his tongue out.

“Because you’re a wuss when you it comes to spicy food.” 

“No, I’m not. I make a mean Thai red curry.” Max argued. “In fact, that’s what I’m making for dinner tonight.” 

It’s true. Max was in fact, a better cook than Brian. When he’s not busy working or clubbing, Max could easily stay at home to cook and watch movies all day long. Which was what they planned to do today. Though a soccer game instead of movies. 

“This hot sauce is my mother’s secret recipe. It’s obligatory for my buffalo wings. Don’t dip into it if it’s too much for you.”

That information seemed to pique Max’s interest. He leaned closer to Brian and whispered, “oh yeah? No wonder she also produced such a hot son then.”

Brian barked out a laugh. “This joke is truly terrible.” 

Max shrugged. “It’s not a joke if it’s the truth.” He said, then manoeuvred himself between Brian and the kitchen counter, looking predatory. “Do we have time to fool around before Toby gets here, you think?” Max asked, already putting his hand inside Brian’s t-shirt, his fingers grazing the taut muscles on his stomach. His tongue licking the corner of Brian’s mouth, with the lingering taste of hot sauce.

The effect was sharp and instant. Brian leaned back against the kitchen cabinets for support, he opened his mouth and Max’s warm mouth claimed his. Gentle and unhurried, like he had all the time in the world. They let the slow kiss carried on, sometimes nibbling each other’s lip with a bit of teeth; sometimes a delicious sweep of tongue inside the mouth. Brian’s pulse pounded in his throat, he let out a small moan when he felt the blond man’s arousal pressed against his jogging pants. Max nuzzled Brian just under his jaw, his kisses trailing his throat, his collarbone, his hands started unbuttoning his own jeans. 

Brian helped him along but his hands got in the way of Max’s. They both laughed and Max finally kicked off his jeans with his back heel. Brian noticed with mild amusement that Max wasn’t wearing any underwear, which meant he’s been planning this. Brian gave his rapidly hardening cock a gentle squeeze and Max groaned loudly, his mouth came back on Brian’s with renewed urgency. His tongue thrust into Brian’s, and Brian pushed hungrily back, sucked. Wet and open mouth.

Max asked softly against Brian’s mouth, “Suck me, please.” He demanded. Like a gentleman.

Brian lowered himself and began to kiss the exposed skin under Max’s t-shirt, trailing along the sprinkle of fine blond hair, his treasure trail... until he reached the thick and wide cock, already pointing upward and glistening with pre-come. He licked at the head, savouring the salty taste; he felt Max’s warm hand stroking his head and massaging his neck.

“I miss grabbing onto your hair.” Max murmured. 

Brian smiled at that. They were both spotting a buzzcut these days. Brian did that for a scene in Treadstone; Max never said why he cut his.

He nuzzled against Max’s groin area, breathed in the musky smell before he took Max’s cock in his mouth, sweeping and licking it with his tongue. Max uttered a throaty grunt, his hips thrust forward a little, but holding back. Brian knew Max was restraining himself, letting Brian set the pace and tempo. 

He gave a long and hard suck of Max’s cock, giving Max the permission to fuck his mouth. Max took no time to answer, he held the back of Brian’s head and thrust once, hard. Brian relaxed his jaw as much as possible, tried to take as much of Max as possible.

They got into a now familiar rhythm. Max’s hands never stopped stroking Brian’s hair, his ears, anywhere he could reach, urging Brian on. And Brian knew a trick or two that Max liked, as he enjoyed listening to the soft gasps and feeling the tightening hold on his neck from Max.

Brian could feel his own cock hardening, his heart slammed with longing and desire... never enough, it’s never enough when he’s with Max. He needed more time, more days, more everything with Max...

“Ich komme, ich komme...” Max warned him with another thrust and then he’s shooting deep into Brian’s mouth. English all forgotten.

Brian swallowed quickly, licked and lapped Max clean before he rested his head against Max’s thighs. The sound of their joint ragged breathing filling the kitchen space.

Max tugged at Brian’s shoulders and drew him up. They kissed sloppily and slowly. 

Max grinned lazily, his cheeks flushed. “You should win an award for this before you win an Oscar.” 

Brian giggled like he’s drunk and fell against Max’s shoulder. Max loved to make him laugh, that has always been a thing between them, Brian hadn’t realized it was Max’s way of flirting with him.

“Now let me take care of you. King of blow job...” Max said playfully while tugging at Brian’s jogging pants. 

And of course, the doorbell rang at the exact moment.

“Scheiße..”

“Toby...”

They said at the same time. 

Max frowned apologetically. Brian kissed him quickly and rubbed his blond stubble. “Later... we have all night.”

******

“What? Neymar is on the bench today? Why!” Toby exclaimed.

“Because he’s a diva. I don’t know how you can support Paris St Germain, they are built with money. No soul.” Max said.

“They have Neymar! And Real Madrid is also built with money, if you have to go down that road.”

Brian listened to their arguments and commentary with a faint smile, he knew next to nothing about soccer - Max insisted calling it Fußball - except that the football needs to go into the net. But Max was an animated sports fan, so Brian found it just as entertaining watching him. Plus he’s very sexy when he cursed in German. 

Like right now.

“Wichser! Willst du mich verarschen? That’s a red-card foul!” Max shouted at the referee on tv.

“Are you blind? Bale dived! He should get a yellow card instead.” Toby argued.

Both Max and Toby played soccer... football... when they were kids. Brian knew Max was fairly good at it, played in youth team and all. Brian liked sports, growing up in Texas, American football was a way of life. But men’s changing room terrified Brian when he was in school, he knew just enough about the team and the sport to get by, so he wouldn’t stand out or get picked on... while Max grew up excelled in sports and had a relaxed attitude about sexuality at the same time. Some of Brian’s struggles, he guessed Max would never really understand.

“Are you bored?” Max suddenly asked, bumping his shoulder on the sofa. 

Brian shook his head quickly. He wasn’t. He loved seeing Max and Toby bickering and enjoying themselves. “It’s very amusing just listening to you two arguing.” He said.

“You have to pick a team. That’s more fun to watch. PSG? They are the diva French team, or Real Madrid? They have some cool players.” Max encouraged.

“It’s not fair. Brian always sides with you.” Toby cried. Brian couldn’t believe he’s so serious about a game.

“Does he?” Max cocked his eyebrows in mockery. Clearly happy with Toby’s complaint.

“Who’s the that guy with a buzzcut? I like him. He’s good looking.” Brian pointed at the screen.

“Eden Hazard. He plays for Real. Good choice. He’s very good.” Max smiled.

“See? What did I just say?” Toby threw his hands up.

Max leaned over and kissed Brian’s cheek and said, “Thank you.” Brian glanced over and saw Toby hid his smile behind the rim of his beer mug

  
******

“You think it’s going to snow?” Max asked. Watching the grey sky, the drizzle of rain that looked suspiciously like snow.

“Maybe... New York winter can be unpredictable.” 

“I don’t mind getting snowed in here. It’s cosy.” Max smiled. Demonstrating this by pulling the faux fur throw from the back of the sofa to cover their legs. They were settling down to watch the horror movie “Us”, a reward for Brian having sat through a 2-hour football game with them in the afternoon.

“Contrary to popular belief, winter in Berlin doesn’t get much snow. It’s just wet and cold most of the time...” Max turned to ask Brian, “comfortable?” And wrapped his arm around Brian’s shoulders.

Warm and happy, Brian nodded and laid his head on Max’s shoulder. 

“It’s so great that Toby is going to be in the new Matrix, oder?” Max said. Toby had secretly brought a bottle of champagne with him and told them about the news after the football game. 

They were both ecstatic for Toby. Actually the three of them went a little crazy and started calling and texting the rest of the “cluster” about the news, ignoring the fact that it was late or middle of the night in Asia and Europe.

“It’s a great opportunity for him.” Brian agreed. 

“What about you?”

Brian thought for a moment. “If the tv series got renewed, then I’d be busy.” He’s hesitant to say more because he didn’t want to jinx it.

Max grinned. “I hope they film it in Budapest again.” 

Brian smiled. That would certainly help them to meet up... “what about you? More German films? You did four already this year.”

Max nodded and crossed his fingers. “They told me we might finally get funding for the sequel.”

 _The Sequel?_ Brian widened his eyes. He knew exactly which sequel Max was talking about. Brian himself had watched the original countless times... more times than he would admit to Max.

“Wow... that’s crazy.” Brian was almost speechless. He had thought that wasn’t going to happen. Max had told him it was probably not going to happen. A strange mix of emotions coursed through Brian. He’s excited for Max, of course. And happy, he knew how hard it was to find money for indie productions. And anxious... yeah. That’s the strange bit in the mix.

“Is Hanno as excited about it as you?”

“I think so. He’s super talented, always has a million things on his plate. His music etc, but yeah, he cares about this project.” Max answered absently, he picked up the remote to turn on the streaming device.

“Must be nice working with him again.” Brian commented.

For a moment, Max had a does-not-compute look on his face. Brian was secretly relieved that Max hasn’t caught on his... annoying insecurities.

But no such luck. Max leaned back and considered Brian. “Are you... worried about Hanno?” He sounded like he wanted to laugh.

Brian reddened. “Go to hell, Max.” He cursed softly and sat up straighter. But Max just laughed. 

Brian scrambled to explain, “Come on, we are actors. I know that’s just...” he took a deep breath, “acting,” finishing his sentence feebly. Brian knew it’s ridiculous, he just played a gay man himself in a tv series that Max was also in.

“But I still need to get _naked_ with him, touch and kiss him like I really love him?” Now Max was openly taunting him.

“And I’m sure you will do a very convincing job.” Brian retorted, tried to sound calm and reasonable, not a drop of worry; knowing he was failing miserably.

Max guffawed some more. “Hanno is like, a lot straighter than me.” He told Brian after he stopped laughing.

 _I thought you were straight too_. Brian thought to himself.

Max watched Brian squirmed for a moment, then he whispered, “come here.” 

Brian glared at him before he finally leaned closer. And Max murmured warmly against his ear, “You know you can help me rehearse scenes if this really happened.


	5. New York 1.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max extends his New York visit. Newcomer puppies make an entrance.
> 
> Just a short one from Max’s POV this time. 
> 
> Seasons Greetings and Merry Christmas if you are celebrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing to do with reality. I have nothing but love and respect for both Max and Brian. This is purely in my imagination and for my own enjoyment.
> 
> Unedited and unbeta’d

“Woof!”

Max felt something sitting on his shoulder.Someone sitting on his shoulder. 

He opened his eyes and saw two button-like round eyes staring at him. 

“Woof!” The brown maltipoo puppy began to lick his face.Its legs continued to treat Max’s shoulder like a cajón, stumping away in fast tempo. 

“Brian!” Max called out.He turned his body around and promptly sent the duvet and the puppy halfway down on the floor.

“Scheiße... Brian!Pippa is here again!” Max put his hand out in time to catch the puppy before it hit the floor.

Finally, rapid footsteps from outside the bedroom.Brian stuck his head in to take a peek, before he pulled the door wide open. 

“There you are!” Brian was addressing the dog.

“Yes, Pippa snuck in again.Can you take her out? I don’t want to give her the flu.”Max sat up in bed, he held out the puppy to Brian.

Brian chuckled. “First of all, this is Lulu.And second of all, you can’t pass on human flu to a dog.”He sat down in bed next to Max and took over Lulu from him.

“Are you bothering poor Max again?” Brian blew a raspberry on Pipp... Lulu’s curly furry back.

Max was supposed to fly back to Berlin two days ago, but he came down with a pretty bad flu; complete with fever, dizziness, muscle pain, the whole nine yards.

“I don’t remember the last time I got sick.” Max had said, while Brian was on the phone with his travel agent to change Max’s flight. 

“They say you can change it to the 23rd and Lufthansa will bump you up to first class on the day. What do you think? Too late?” Brian cocked his eyebrow. 

Max didn’t care about the upgrade, Lufthansa business class was good enough for him, he preferred not having to use his fame, if possible.But Brian’s agent liked to show off his extensive influence and Max had promised his daughter he would spend Christmas with her this year.“Is it an early flight? If I can arrive Berlin on the 23rd, I will take it.”

So, five extra days for him to recover and stay with Brian.The unexpected extra days made Max’s visit lasting almost three weeks.The longest they’ve spent together at any one time, not counting when they were working together.He hope Brian was not sick of him already.

Brian put his hand on Max’s forehead to check his temperature. “No fever. How are you feeling today?” He asked softly and began to rub his neck.Max closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.Brian’s strong hand on his skin felt like a warm balm, made him want to just stretch out and relish being touched and patted.When he was a kid, his mother would rub his neck and back whenever he’s under the weather, it worked like a lullaby. 

Max turned to look at him.Brian’s kind eyes always had this soothing effect on Max, like twin-pool of calm lake.Max exhaled a sigh. _Ugh_.He hated how this flu has floored him completely, but Brian has been playing nurse and Max has been shamelessly exploiting it.He knew his fever has gone, even though he still felt weak and groggy in general.

“I’m better...” Max tried to answer but sneezed loudly instead.His nose was still blocked.

Brian dropped Lulu on the floor, who continued to mill around Max’s leg.Then he passed a box of tissues to Max.“Very sexy.” He teased.

“Hey!” Max warned him with a glare, but there’s no heat in it.He blew his already red nose, sniffling loudly.

“You need to use that saline nasal spray.It will clear up your blocked nose, and unlike those cold medicine, you won’t feel groggy.”

Max hated that thing.Like having sea water dripping down his throat. _Yikes_.

But he hated this grogginess even more, so... he slowly nodded.

Brian perked up but he didn’t trust Max, so he’s going to administer the application of the spray.Max tilted his head backward reluctantly.Brian pumped two shots into each nostril.

“Now sniff.” He ordered.

Max made a face and obliged.“Good boy.” Brian sniggered and patted the side of his face.

“Woof!” Lulu jumped up, her small paws tried to cling onto Max’s jogging pants.

Max scooped her up with one hand, he gave Lulu a death stare and said in his Wolfgang voice, “he’s talking to me.Not you.” 

Lulu, who had no idea who Wolfgang was, continued to wiggle and bark in her tiny puppy voice, not intimidated at all.Max grabbed the nasal spray and pumped a few times onto the puppy’s nose.That, of course, sent Lulu into overdrive; she sneezed and licked her nose; then started licking Max’s face again.

Brian laughed, “now she thinks you want to play.” He took Lulu from him and leaned forward to kiss him. 

Max pulled away. “Careful. I don’t want to give you this nasty flu.”

Brian beamed. “Too late for that.” He said and kissed Max anyway.“By the way, the contagious period lasts about 3-5 days after first symptoms, and we’ve done more than kissing in those days...” Brian’s voice dropped to a whisper.

“It’s scary how many random medical facts you know.You do know you were only playing a doctor in a tv show?” Max kissed him back. That led to another longer kiss, and before they knew it, they were necking and snogging in bed. 

“Woof!” Lulu started scratching the side of the mattress, reminding them she’s not to be ignored.

“Scheiße...” Max laughed and finally pulled away.“Maybe let her stay with me?She can keep me company.” He scratched the back of puppy’s ears.

Brian got up.“Ha! Both of them are not house train yet, she will pee in bed in no time.”

Max shuddered and immediately handed Lulu over.

Brian laughed and took over the puppy. “Get some rest?” He kissed the top of Max’s head like he’s 5 years old and left the room.

Max sank back into the pillows, listening to the sounds of Brian moving quietly through the apartment before drifting off to sleep.And he felt safe and content... and happy.

******

He woke up and felt more like a human in the late afternoon.Pulling off the duvet, Max noticed a little brown fur-ball curled up at the end of the bed.He sat up and squinted.“You’re Pippa.What are you doing here?”

The puppy looked up at him, tilted her little head to the side for a second; then lower her head again and went back to licking her own paws.Not interested in whatever Max had to offer. 

_Brian has probably finally walked and exhausted them for the day._

“Playing hard to get, huh?I know this game.In fact, I’m damn good at it.” Max muttered and smiled at his own silliness. _I’m turning into Brian._ He thought.It he stayed any longer, he would end up getting a pet himself at home.

He went to open the blinds and watched the upper Manhattan skyline.It was right on the turn: that moment between day and night, swift and sudden in winter days, suspended in a golden haze.Max rested his head against the glass window. 

He’s not missing Berlin. Not this time. It’s almost scary how much he did not miss home.That’s why it’s good that he’s leaving in two days.

Max picked up Pippa on bed. “Come on, let’s go find your daddy.”

He heard the music as soon as he opened the door.After dropping Pippa into the playpen with Lulu, Max went to sit down next to Brian by the piano. 

Brian paused playing and kissed him.

“Bach?” Max thought he recognized the piece.

Brian nodded.“Concerto in D minor.You know your classical.” Brian said with just a hint of surprise. 

“Please.He’s German.” Max shrugged.Brian grinned and resumed playing.

Max turned sideways on the piano stool, so his back was leaning against Brian’s shoulder.He listened quietly for awhile and just let the music wash over him... until Brian hit a bum note.

They both laughed. 

“Guess I should stick to my day job.” Brian sighed and closed the piano.He watched Max closely. “You looked better.About time.”

“I thought you find my red nose sexy.” Max batted his eyelashes.“Sick of me already?”

“Never.” Brian answered without hesitation and rubbed against said red nose. “Actually I am afraid you are.” He licked his lips.

Max was lost for words temporarily.He knew about Brian’s... sometimes unfounded insecurities.Usually he would avoid acknowledging it, to make it easier for Brian, for himself.It was daunting for Max because he was not good at this part of relationships. He never had been.

But he liked Brian. A lot.He wanted Brian to be happy.This fact alone told Max, maybe that ship has sailed. Maybe now he didn’t just like Brian a lot...

Max suddenly remembered the friend he knew who worked for Berliner Philharmoniker...

“What are you doing for New Year’s Eve?” He asked Brian.


	6. Be my Valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What else? Brian calls Max on Valentine’s Day ❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is written in half an hour. Unedited and unbeta’d. Sorry if it’s full of mistakes - at least it’s short!
> 
> As always - this has NOTHING to do with reality. I have nothing but love and respect for both Brian and Max. This is all in my head and my imagination.
> 
> Happy Valentine’s Day if you celebrate it.

“Hallo?”

“Guten Morgen. Wie geht’s?”

“What are you saying, you silly Maus.”

“What?It’s wrong?”

“Es ist so perfekt wie du.” (It’s as perfect as you)

“Sweet talker.Are you busy?”

“Hmmm... no, just getting ready.”

“You have scenes to do today?”

“No, just training.”

“And you are up already? Professional as always.”

“What is this phone call really about, Maus?”

“I don’t like this nickname.Mouse is not remotely nice in New York.Pick something else.”

“Mäuschen.”

“That’s even worse!I am not small!I am taller than you.”

“By 4cm only...”

“Still...”

“But it’s true.You are not small, that much I know.”

Clears throat, “now we are getting somewhere.”

Chuckles. Then a whisper. “Ahh... so that’s why you call me at 7 in the morning.”

“It’s already 10 here and I got used to having a Max wake up call since last December.”

“Spoiled brat.”

“You are beginning to sound like an American.”

“Und du bist wie ein Berliner.” (And you are like a Berliner)

Silence.Then a low voice.“Max?”

“Hmmm...?”

“Ich vermisse dich.” (I miss you)

“Ich auch, Mäuschen.” (Me too, little mouse)

Laughter.“I am going to kill you if you keep this up.”

“Komm dann. Come here.Toby wants to see you too.”

Hesitation.“Are you sure?”

“Of course.I have a king size bed in the room waiting.”

“Are you on it right now?”

“What do you think?”

“Err... no?”

Chuckles.“True. I was doing push-ups.” Then some footsteps and rolling sounds.“But now I am.”

“Ok... what are you wearing?”

“... so we are really doing this?”

“Max... “

“Ok, ok... “ a deep breath, then a breathy voice. “What are you wearing?”

“Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Max!”

More laughter.“Ok, ok... my bad, Mäuschen... “ a happy sigh.

Exasperated. “It’s hopeless.You are officially terrible at phone sex.”

“You seemed pretty satisfied with it last time.”

“Consistency, baby, one time means nothing.”

“Oh yeah?How about that time I made you come so hard over the phone, you did a ‘Ben Stiller’?”

“Are you saying you can top that one?”

“I am saying you should check your inbox.”

“What inbox?”

“Email.Look for one from Virgin America.”

“Max... “ phone dropped.Tapping and typing sounds.Soft gasp.Phone back on. “How did you know I will be free?”

“We consulted your BFF.”

“We?”

“Toby and I, Erendira is here too, as you know.”

“Jesus... Max...”

“Go pack, Mäuschen.”

“You only give me 3 hours. What if I hadn’t called you?” Sounding outcried.

“You worry too much.Komm jetzt,it will still be Valentine’s day when you land.”

“You better make a Ben Stiller Valentine special when I get there.”

Pretends to sound both solemn and indignant. “Why, Mäuschen, you know I never disappoint.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ‘Ben Stiller’ reference is referring to a scene in the movie ‘There’s something about Mary’ 😂


	7. Lockdown Berlin 1.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian can finally see Max again after lockdown has been eased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing to do with reality. I have nothing but love and respect for both Max and Brian.
> 
> This is entirely in my head only and written for my own enjoyment. Unedited and unbeta'd. Mistakes are all mine.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

“So, what did Max say?”

“He’s coming here next Monday,” Brian put down his mobile. He closed his eyes and slowly exhaled.

_Finally_.

“Is he moving here? How does it work again?” Toby asked.

“From Monday onwards, people are allowed to meet persons belonging to one other household,” Brian explained while avoiding the first part of Toby’s question. Because typical Max, he hadn’t made it clear...

“Huh? Household?”

“Max says you and I are considered as one household and neither of us has another household to go to, so he can see us.” Brian has been trying to get his head around the new guidelines as well.

“I should google it,” Toby said. His favourite thing to do these days.

Thank god for fast internet. And thank god for Max’s friend who helped them find this rental with two-bed, two-bath spreading in a three-storey apartment in Charlottenburg, so he and Toby didn’t have to live on top of each other. Privacy and personal space such precious commodity in times like this.

Strange times like this.

When Brian decided to wait it out in Berlin with Toby, he hadn’t expected to be apart from Max for almost two months.

Even though the movie production had been shut down, everyone was expecting it to be resumed in a few weeks. In his loved-up brain, Brian was imaging cuddling on sofa to binge-watch TV and cooking together with Max.

Of course, he had completely forgotten that Max’s family was here in Berlin; that he had a mother and a daughter to look after, that he had to leave his sometime-boyfriend to fend for himself.

Well, Brian knew it wasn’t quite like that. It wasn’t like he’s alone in Berlin; Toby was with him. But damn, the German government and Max weren’t kidding about this. Rules mean rules.

And Brian knew it’s not Max’s personal decision; plus, it’s the right thing to do, so he needed to step up and stop selfishly thinking with his... erm.. argghh... but he just missed him so much, sometimes he felt physically sick.

“You can finally stop sulking,” Toby quipped.

“I am not sulking,” Brian answered automatically

Fully expecting Toby to rebuke him, Brian was surprised when Toby said, “I think Max has been rather romantic, under the circumstances.” But his eyes were focusing on his MacBook, his fingers typing fast.

Brian looked up. “Wha... what do you mean?” He asked warily. His face was inflamed in under 0.5 seconds. _Please don’t tell me Toby knows... oh god... Max will kill me._

So, Brian and Max had a couple of phone sex, no big deal. And on one or two occasions, in the heat of the moment, Brian might have been a little bit... _no, I definitely wasn’t too loud, no way Toby had heard us - err - me._

“Didn’t he come all the way to give us that homemade meat stew made with Riesling? What did Max say it’s called? Bäckeoffe?” Toby reminded Brian.

_OK, that!_ Brian relaxed. “You mean the Max Riemelt Contactless Food Delivery,” he said, grinning.

Max, of course, had come all the way to Charlottenburg from his place in the east side, only to drop off a pot of stew outside their doorstep. He hadn’t even stayed in the staircase for long.

And even though it was less than a minute, with proper 2-meter distance between them and Toby next to him, Brian’s heart still fluttered like the first time he set eyes on Max, at that first cast meeting.

“Yeah. That time. I loved that dish! Max is a good cook. Haven’t we eaten the same thing in that Alsatian restaurant he took us to? Where was that? In Prenzlauerberg? Man... I really miss going to restaurants,” Toby began one of his daily monologues.

Brian has grown accustomed to them. In fact, after two months of lockdown, Toby’s energy and optimism have been keeping Brian sane.

******

Monday came and nothing went according to plan. Or actually there was no plan because Max never said when he would be coming.

Brian tried to ignore his thumping heart and went about the routine he has developed during lockdown. Yoga in the morning, joining Toby for breakfast, reading, second set of exercise, walking in the neighbourhood with his camera, buying groceries.

By 4 o’clock in the afternoon, Max finally sent him a short text message, saying he’s working and don’t wait for him for dinner.

Brian stared at the text message, written in Max’s unique ‘economical-but-no-abbreviations-or-acronyms’ way, tried to decipher the hidden meaning.

_Don’t wait for him for dinner or don’t wait for him at all? Is he coming today or not?_

Brian wanted to ask him directly; he also didn’t want to sound clingy. It’s a dance Brian has mastered with finesse by now. Except after nearly two months, his patience was wearing thin.

He typed a reply, cringed and deleted it; he typed another one, then hesitated and deleted it again. Rinse and repeat four times. Finally, he just typed >>alright c u later<< and pressed send before he could change his mind.

Toby seemed to sense his jittery, but to Brian’s relief, he didn’t say anything, didn’t ask when Max was coming either; he kept Brian occupied with the latest photos he has taken in a new Berlin neighbourhood he went since the lockdown has been relaxed.

They talked about the area as they went through the photographs, Toby took great pictures, it’s another interest they share. Brian has always loved Berlin; he loved that it’s full of contradictions, the modernist architecture that popped up in unexpected places, contrasting with abundance of rooftop gardens; its green space and dog friendly environment; the hedonistic club scene; its culturally diverse inhabitants... one inhabitant, in particular, held his heart hostage.

Max didn’t send another message after that. By 9pm, Brian gave up. He was used to Max disappearing unannounced for days, whenever they were in Berlin together - Max has so many friends, so many requests and favours he couldn’t or wouldn’t turn down. Brian considered himself a hard worker, but Max was a close to a workaholic.

He and Toby used VPN and watched some US news together on a laptop, every day they were reminded that they had made the right decision to stay in Berlin while the madness was unfolding in their home country. Then they settled down to watch ‘Better Call Saul’ on Netflix Germany together.

“Oh man, they write the best script. I’d really love to be on this show,” Toby said.

“At this point, I’d just love to on any TV show,” Brian muttered sullenly. The news of his last TV series being cancelled after one season was still a fresh wound. He hadn’t been too hopeful, but still, the confirmation hit him hard.

“Hey.” Toby bumped his shoulder, moved closer to him on the sofa. “At least we are still in this blockbuster movie together, who knows where it will take us, eh? My agent said they are drafting extension contract to hold us longer; I think we will be back to work soon.”

Always the optimist. Brian smiled. He’s so grateful Toby was here.

By nearly midnight, just before 3rd episode auto-play started, Brian noticed Toby has fallen asleep on the opposite sofa. He turned off the programme and was about to wake up Toby when he heard a faint knock on the main door.

Brian froze. It was strange because the building used a code-lock security system, all deliveries would have to be buzzed in through intercom. So, whoever was outside their door, knew the security code.

He walked to the door; a feeling of déjà vu washed over him - that very special night in Budapest more than a year ago - he resisted the temptation to use the peephole. If he was to be disappointed, he wanted to get it over with right away.

Brian unlocked and opened the door in one smooth pull.

Standing outside was Max, dressed in one of his many grey hoodies. His hood is up, strands of his platinum blond hair (it’s called Wasserstoff blond in German, Max had told him, Wasserstoff meaning hydrogen) visible underneath the hood. His stubble was heavy and in a darker shade, he stood with hands behind his back and bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Did I wake you?” He flashed Brian a rueful smile.

Brian was struck speechless for a second before he recovered. “What are you doing here?” He asked in a low voice.

“I told you I’m coming today,” Max said indignantly, his smile slipped, brow furrowed.

“I know, but why didn’t you call first?”

“My phone ran out of battery, but I know you will be in anyway.” Max shrugged.

There were so many very-Max elements in one sentence, Brian didn’t know to laugh or roll his eyes first. He shook his head and said, “come in, you lunatic.”

Brian reached out to touch his arm, but Max raised his hands and took a step back. “Let me wash my hands first.”

_For real?_ Brian raised his eyebrows. But Max wasn’t joking, he went straight to the bathroom.

Toby has begun snoring faintly when Max re-emerged in the living room. The wasserstoff blond sat down next to Toby said loudly, “Toby? Hey buddy.”

“Max! What the hell are you doing?” Brian hissed. He didn’t want to wake up Toby, he didn’t want to watch more Better Call Saul; he just wanted to take Max upstairs.

But Max put his finger on his lips in a universal “shhhh” sign.

Brian watched, holding his breath, as Toby turned to his side and mumbled, “hmmm...” then promptly started snoring again.

Max took the quilted throw on the back of the sofa to cover Toby; finally satisfied, he smiled and got up, made a big production of walking up to Brian.

“And now,” he said, cupping Brian’s face with both of his just-washed-hands, “I can finally do this.” His round and twinkling blue eyes dropped to Brian’s mouth.

Warmed lips touched his, Max’s fingers gently rubbed against his cheeks, his silky tongue gently pried open Brian’s mouth and slipped in.

Brian closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall, to be swept away.

Every hurt, every doubt, every little niggle became castaways in this kiss. Brian moaned softly as he opened for him, deepening the kiss. For a few seconds, it was all hard breathing and wet noises of urgent, sloppy kisses. Brian could feel Max’s hard-on poking his thigh through the soft layer of his dark jeans, could feel himself responding, hardening quickly. He wanted to kiss, to bite and to touch Max everywhere.

Jesus, he needed to take Max to his bed. NOW.

Brian pulled away a little to nuzzle his head against Max’s shoulder, he murmured against the soft skin on his neck, “you made me wait all day, you German bastard.”

Max chuckled lightly. His hand moved to brush Brian’s still spiky tapered sides. They both had been donning some futuristic hairstyles for the new movie they were filming together. Brian’s sides were shaved to a high taper fade, Max’s dirty blond hair was bleached to platinum white. As usual, Max couldn’t care less about hairstyle or fashion, but Brian knew he’s self-conscious, having had some bad experience with hair dye job in the past for another movie. Brian had teased him endlessly, but secretly? He loved this cool white gold hair look on Max.

And without the blow dry and hair gel, Max has let his wasserstoff blond strands grow out, his natural blond colour underneath; he looked like a sun-kissed surfer on a rainy day, forced to stay indoors.

Still in a tight embrace, Brian’s hand gently touched the nape of Max’s neck, rubbing a few said hair strands between his fingers. He felt feverish, aroused, weak with desire.

“C’mon, show me your room,” Max whispered against his ear.

******

Brian reached out his hand and touch the sheen of sweat on Max’s smooth back; both still trying to catch their breath.

That was quick, dirty, and sloppy. The best kind of sex for them after nearly two months apart.

Max hadn’t wasted any time. He had pinned Brian down with wet kisses all over his body, hands everywhere, stroking, pinching, biting, marking him. With Max holding his hands above his head, Brian had strained to buck up, to move his hip, desperate to meet every thrust. But Max was determined to have his way, he moved with sinuous grace, pinning Brian down with his sensuous body, one of his hands grabbing Brian’s hipbone so tight would sure leave handprint. His mouth torturing Brian with a wet trail all the way down, his stubble scraping along Brian’s shivering body. The maddening friction between their bodies, their cocks meeting in a tough duel.

“Oh god... oh Max... please...” rendering Brian to beg, to plead for release.

When Max finally let him, with a bite on his shoulder and a delicious pull on his cock, Max came powerfully first between Brian’s thighs; his deep throaty groan was the final push, Brian shot off like a rocket on his blond lover’s stomach. Max finally released his hands, Brian searched blindly in the dark for Max’s hand, entwining their fingers as they rode out the afterglow together. Utterly spent, their heavy breathing in sync, their hearts beating wildly against each other.

And now.

“Alles klar? Was I too rough?” Max turned to his side, genuine concern in his voice.

Brian traced the frown line between Max’s eyebrows with his finger; he rubbed his forehead against his sometime-boyfriend. “It’s perfect.”

Max seemed pleased with Brian’s answer, he grinned wickedly, back to his boyish arrogant self and said, “so it’s worth the wait?”

Brian snorted. But he couldn’t stop the smile widening across his face. He’s so doomed.


	8. Lockdown Berlin 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max moves in. Brian sees a rare side of Max.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing to do with reality. I have nothing but love and respect for both Max and Brian.  
> Everything written here is pure fiction and for my own enjoyment.  
> Unbeta'd and unedited.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

“Brian?”

“Brian... hey, wakey wakey.”

Brian swatted away the hand shaking his shoulder, he mumbled, ‘hmmmm...” No, he didn’t want to wake up, he was having the best sleep in weeks.

“Mein Mäuschen, wake up.”

Brian felt a kiss on his cheek. He pried open one eye and found himself looking into Max’s huge light blue eyes. His sleepy foggy brain began going fast-backward - Max knocking on their door at midnight - Max kissing him in the living room - Max pinning him and fucking him into the mattress - Max falling asleep with his hand in his... _Yes, Max is here_. He reassured himself.

Brian rubbed his eyes and yawned lazily, soaking up the warmth Max’s naked body emitting next to him.

Max hoisted himself up with his elbow on the pillow, holding a mobile phone in the other hand - Brian’s mobile phone.

Max smiled. “Morning, Mäuschen.”

Brian wanted to whine about that endearment, but Max wasn’t finished, he waved the mobile phone and said, “someone named Todd has been calling you all morning.”

Todd? Brian’s brow furrowed; he tried to think who that might be... he glanced at the caller picture. _OH. TODD._

Brian looked up at Max, tried to detect if there’s something else hidden in that charming smile. “He’s a Broadway playwright I worked with years ago, he’s probably wondering if I am in New York.”

What Brian had just said was technically true. What he had left out was that Todd lived in the same building and they used to hook-up for sex. They haven’t done it for long time, but with the NYC lockdown, Brian wouldn’t put it past Todd to break a small lockdown rule for sex. Not everyone was as discipline as Max...

“A playwright. That’s why he has the whole young Sam Shepard thing going on in that contact photo there,” Max said. The smile was still there, but it’s a little bit frozen now.

Brian’s hazy brain was slowly digesting multiple things, he was surprised and impressed that Max could namecheck Sam Shepard – _but of course he knows, Wim Wenders directed ‘Paris, Texas’, and -_

“You don’t want to call him back? It’s 3am in New York, maybe it’s urgent?” Max’s voice was soft, his tone gentle, but Brian knew him well enough to tell he had zero concern for Todd.

_And is that... jealousy in Max’s voice?_ It was so foreign, Brian didn’t trust himself - his wishful thinking - no, crossed that, his secret delight knowing that Max wasn’t above feeling jealous.

As much as he wanted to enjoy this rare display of insecurity from Max a little longer, Brian didn’t have the heart. He pulled Max down for a kiss, “nothing is more urgent than this,” Brian reassured. And Max welcomed the kiss, he opened his mouth and pressed harder, allowing Brian to draw him in for a deeper kiss, all tongues and teeth.

_Mutual morning breath is so sexy._ Brian thought with a smile.

“What’s so funny?” Max grinned, seemingly placated.

“Nothing.” Brian looped both arms around Max’s neck. The white gold blond strands touching Brian’s forehead.

Brian watched his own reflection in those pools of blue. “You need a haircut,” he noted.

Max huffed. “That’s the last of my concerns.”

“Oh yeah? What is your main concern?” Brian asked playfully. He paused. Getting bolder, he poked the bear. “Todd?”

Max leaned back a little, narrowing his eyes. And quicker than lightning, Brian found himself being flipped over and face down on the mattress. Max’s body covering him in a full body hug; his chest pressed down on Brian’s back.

“Hey, let me up, you German lug,” Brian laughed and tried to get up on his elbows, to shake Max off. Playing up his struggle when Max wasn’t really using great force.

“Are you sorry now?” Max’s hands gripped his biceps, holding him in place.

Far from saying he’s sorry, Brian shook his head. “Never.” And he knew a trick or two; he flexed his hips, rubbing his ass against Max’s front. The effect was instant and red hot. Threat forgotten; Max suddenly stayed still. Then Brian heard a soft moan next to his ear and an answering jolt. Max pressed down on him again and moved painfully slow along Brian’s back, returning the favour. The manhandling continued, Max turned him to his side and locked two forearms across his chest. Brian bent his arm and reached behind to grab the back of Max’s neck, holding on for his dear life as Max began to thrust again him.

This was no longer just harmless cuddling in bed, he has poked he bear, alright.

When Max’s fingers began to twist and play with his nipples, the war was over, Brian could no more stop his slight shiver than he could stop the tides of the ocean; he bit hard on his lower lip, but a whimper still escaped. Max chuckled against his skin. “I knew you would surrender.” He pressed a kiss in the curve of his neck and whispered, “where’s the stuff, Mäuschen?”

Brian didn’t even mind the ridiculous endearment; he reached for the nightstand drawer and got a condom and a lube packet out.

Max bit and sucked on Brian’s earlobes, not missing a beat while multi-tasking between prepping Brian and putting the condom on. “You ready, baby?” Max’s voice hitched; his hand caressed the inside of Brian’s thigh.

Max pressed his fast beating heart against his back as he slowly pushed in; Brian winced and whimpered, even with the lube, it burned, there’s no escaping it. He could tell it’s been a while for both of them. The thought made Brian’s own heart raced along with twin tracks of desire and giddiness, and he trusted Max 100% to take great care. Brian buried his face deeper into the pillow as Max bottomed out.

“You ok, baby?”

_This endearment is better_ , Brian thought dreamily. And Max thrust once, like he couldn’t help it.

Brian answered with a push, his hand reached back to grip Max’s hip.

“Fuck... you feel so good...” Max murmured. Master of direct compliments. Max began to move, slowly first, taking his time; after last night’s quick and dirty, this sweet-and-slow way made Brian tingled all over. Even with the time apart, they quickly struck into a familiar and easy rhythm. Brian gasped as Max’s hand trailed lower to find the rigid length of his cock; he was so far gone by now; he could barely push back. He could feel Max all around him, inside of him; closing his eyes, he allowed himself to let go and ride out the tidal wave ministered by the Wasserstoff blond.

“Oh fuck... scheiße...” Max muttered under his ragged breath and Brian knew he’s close. The increasing friction pushing both of them over the edge. Max came; fingers clenching around Brian’s hand as he spent. Brian came seconds later; he slumped against Max’s chest, feeling boneless and happy like a fool.

_I love this hand holding sex._ Brian hazily thought. But he kept the thought to himself, didn’t want to break the magical trance they were in. And for a few quiet moments, with their breathing the only sound, they basked in the nearness and electricity of each other.

It’s been a long two months.

Max finally untangled and lay flat on the bed next to Brian. After a few seconds, he asked, “what kind of name is Todd, anyway?”

******

“Max!!!!” Toby exclaimed.

Brian turned around and watched Max coming down the stairs in a tight dark grey t-shirt and a pair of slim fit joggers. Looking right at home already. When they were rushing to undress each other last night, Brian hadn’t even noticed Max had brought a small gym bag with him.

Guess he’s staying here - at least for the next few days. The knot in his stomach that Brian’s been holding since yesterday loosened and untied.

“Toby!” Max exclaimed, returning the enthusiasm. Toby lifted Max inches off the floor in a tight bear hug.

“OK, I can see that you two are starved for hugs,” Max teased. He grabbed Toby in a playful headlock before releasing him.

Toby was grinning ear to ear. “Starve for human touch! No offence to you, Brian, but I need to see other people.”

“None taken,” Brian answered with faint smile. Still feeling self-conscious, he could still smell Max on his skin. He came downstairs first this morning when Max was in the shower, in case Toby went searching for him.

“When did you get in? We were waiting last night,” Toby asked.

Max flicked a quick glance at Brian, he answered simply, “late. I had to work yesterday.”

“Work?”

“Just radio and tv interviews for my new film.” Max kept his answer short. He began to walk around the living room, looking at the walls and lighting, like he’s inspecting their condition.

“Oh, the one with the heavy subject? Maybe we can watch it together, what do you think, Brian?”

“Sure,” Brian has already seen it himself without telling Toby, but he wouldn’t mind watching it again with Max

It wasn’t very noticeable, but Brian saw colours rose on Max’s cheeks, he had a sheepish look on his face. Brian hasn’t seen this side of Max for a long time; when they first met on set, off camera, Max was a mild mannered introvert, before the closeness of the cast finally coaxed Max out of his draw-no-attention-shell. Toby has always been able to bring out Max’s funny and playful side, cracking jokes and doing pranks to each other all day long. Max loved to make Brian laugh too - though maybe for a different reason.

“I don’t know... I don’t usually watch my own movies, except when I have to sit through screenings,” Max reluctantly admitted.

Toby found this new information hilarious. He grinned. “So, you are like the German Adam Driver? He once walked out of an interview when they showed him a clip from his movie.”

Max scratched the back of his neck, “he did? Nee... I won’t walk out. But I think it’s better if you watch it and let me know what you think later.”

“Fair enough. Then what should we watch together? Or should we all go outside? Is that allowed?” Toby fired a series of questions.

Max lay himself down on the sectional sofa, his hands behind his head. “Not that many shops are open yet, but yeah, we could have a walk around. Or we can go for a ride, I’ve brought my car, I should run it on autobahn for a bit.”

Toby jumped up at the idea. “Fantastic! Can we go to Grunewald?”

“Of course,” Max smiled indulgently. Toby has always been the baby among them. Then he turned his eyes on Brian. “Fancy going for a ride with me?”

Brian met his gaze, there was something more than playfulness in his eyes, something... soft and tender. He simply nodded, suddenly lost for words.

_Shit. Get a hold of yourself and stop acting like a love-fool in front of Toby._

*buzzing sound*

Brian’s mobile vibrated loudly on the kitchen counter. He grabbed it and peeked at the caller ID picture - Todd.

_What the hell?_

He snuck a glance at Max, whose gaze suddenly became two laser beams, then he veered away from Brian.

Brian swallowed and took the call. “Hey Todd, what’s up?”

******

“Is it true that there are wolves in this area?” Toby shouted from 10 feet ahead of them. They were walking further into the woodland, with only trees, sounds of birds and unnamed insects around; it’s hard to believe they were only half an hour’s drive away from the city.

“Yes, though I’ve never seen one. They have people tracking their movement,” Max replied. The Berlin wildlife expert.

“I saw a wild boar family roaming the streets in Berlin last week on YouTube, it was hilarious,” Toby shouted back, “Nature is healing!”

Brian chuckled.

“What is he on about?” Max frowned.

“It’s a lockdown meme on the internet,” Brian explained. He loved that does-not-compute-look on Max’s face to all things trending on the internet.

Walking in front of them, Toby started snapping away with his Nikon camera. Max slowed down and put his arm around Brian’s shoulders. Brian took a look around, no one was around except the three of them.

“Are you going to make me ask?” Max suddenly asked, shaking Brian a little, like coaxing a child to confess that he has broken the vase in his parents’ living room.

The debate inside Brian’s head was all over the place. It wasn’t that Brian wanted to hide - and there was nothing to hide - Todd and he were never a thing. His vacillation had more to with Max’s possible answers. They had avoided talking about seeing other people for so long, Brian had worked up some worst-case scenarios in his head; he wasn’t sure if he’s ready for Max’s trademark honesty.

Love is often unequal. It’s something Brian has learned the hard way.

He decided to start with something honest for himself. “If you want to know, you have to ask,” Brian said.

He was surprised by the faint smile on Max’s face, like he’s accepting a challenge. “OK. Then I am asking. Are you seeing Todd?”

Brian shook his head right away. He paused. Trying to find the right words. “We had sex sometimes. But that was in the past... past like, before - “

“Budapest?”

“Even before that.”

Max’s fingers gripped his shoulder tighter. “Then why is he calling you in the middle of the night?”

Brian snorted. “You wouldn’t believe it. He lives on the first floor in my building, his apartment got flooded by his upstairs neighbour’s overflow toilet last night, he wanted to know if he can crash at my place, since he knew I am not there.”

“He has a key to your apartment.” It wasn’t a question.

Of course, this would be the first conclusion Max deduced from Brian’s flawless explanation.

Ugh. Brian grimaced. “Err... I might have forgotten to ask for it back. I mean he lives downstairs, it’s good for emergency and we are still friends - ”

“It’s ok. You don’t have to explain.” Max shrugged. “That’s all I need to know.”

And he really meant it. That seemed to be all Max wanted to ask.

Then came the dreaded follow-up question Brian wanted but was afraid to ask. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

Brian rolled his eyes. He’s really going to make him say it. The bastard. “Are you seeing anyone?”

Max widened his eyes. “I thought I am seeing you.” He made a sound of amusement.

The cheeky charmer.

Brian huffed. “Are you seeing anyone _else_?”

He held his breath as Max observed his surroundings for a few seconds. They could barely see Toby’s back in the distance.

When Max’s eyes came back to rest on Brian, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss on the side of his head. “No, just you, Mäuschen,” he murmured the words next to his ear.

Brian leaned into the hold, letting out a long sigh. Three simple words. He felt lighter, like a boulder has been lifted from his chest. No wait, more, he felt adventurous, cheeky.

“You mean since Budapest?”

Max threw his head back and laughed.


	9. Berlin 2.5 (The Night Readers)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian, Max and Toby in Berlin. The world is burning. 
> 
> (Just a very short chapter, my mind is reeling and I thought maybe I can write about two of my favourite characters/persons, to take my mind off all the craziness happening at the moment)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has nothing to do with reality. I have nothing but love and respect for both Max and Brian.  
> Everything written here is pure fiction and for my own enjoyment.  
> Unbeta'd and unedited.
> 
> Stay safe, everyone.

“Are you sleeping?” Max asked. He’s lying on Brian’s chest, his ear pressed close to Brian’s heart.

Brian shook his head. He couldn’t see Max’s face, but he could feel those two deep frown lines appearing between his brows. He carded his fingers through Max’s white gold hair in a gentle and steady rhythm.

“Toby is still downstairs,” Max said it as a statement. They both knew he would be in front of his MacBook all night. Watching the news online, worrying; feeling angry, anxious.

They all were.

“Let him be. I think he feels guilty for not being there,” Brian said.

Max grunted. Brian knew he was feeling frustrated too, that he couldn’t do more. But neither could Brian or Toby.

He and Toby have both been checking in with their families and friends back home. They could donate to support the protests, they could voice their outrage on social media, but that wouldn’t stop the sense of helplessness sitting in Brian’s stomach.

He had a feeling that when he finally returned to New York, it would be a different world.

To think that, just a few days ago, Brian’s biggest worry was what his next project would be.

Just few days ago, they were dining in a Michelin-Star restaurant after some lockdown restrictions were lifted. Toby was snapping photos of his gourmet dishes like a food blogger; Max was smiling indulgently at his friend while trying hard not to roll his eyes. The chef owner who, of course, was a friend of Max, had given them additional desserts to take home afterwards.

With a full stomach, they had decided to take a long walk through Tiergarten from Mitte to Charlottenburg, feeling giddy and slightly tipsy. The weather had been balmy, the night breeze fresh against his face; Max’s arm occasionally brushing against Brian’s as they walked.

It had been the happiest day since Brian arrived in Berlin nearly three months ago.

“Want me to read to you?” Max said, lifting his head to look at Brian.

Brian smiled and nodded. His personal audiobook.

It was a nighttime activity they started doing since last week, after Max had found an English edition of Erich Kästner’s ‘Fabian: The Story of a Moralist’ on Brian’s nightstand.

“You know I was supposed to read this book in the Berlinische Galerie last month?” Max had asked. Looking at Brian’s flushed face before it slowly dawned on him that’s exactly why Brian had bought a copy.

Brian hadn’t told Max, but he had planned to go to that book reading event if there was nothing urgent for him to go back to New York - neither of them could have predicted the movie production to be postponed and all museums would be shut.

Now all they have left were one original German edition and one English edition of the same book on their nightstands. They have been taking turns reading to each other at night.

So they sat slouched against the headboard in bed, Brian lay his head on Max’s shoulder, as his sometime-boyfriend began to read the famous satire novel in German. His voice clear and soft, at times almost whimsical. Even though Brian had finished the English edition, his German was not good enough to fully understand, but that was never the point of their reading. It worked like a lullaby.

With Max’s warm body next to him, Brian soon lost the track of time through the sounds of the long and winding German words. He was thinking how apt and relevant this book was to the world today as he slowly drifted to sleep.

The last thing Brian remembered was Max putting the book away and pressing a soft kiss on the side of his head.

“I am glad you are here; I am glad you are both here,” Max said quietly. He tightened his hold on Brian’s body and murmured, “die Welt ist verrückt geworden.” (The world has gone mad)


End file.
